Moaouia’s story
We’ve met for the first time in 2014, at French-Italian border, in Ventimiglia to be precise, in a camp set up by a group of activists campaigning against the border control policy between the European country, they qualified as racist.
One of the most prominent association there is the “No borders” collective, which claims freedom of movement as inherent humans rigths.
A year later, we’ve met again by chance in the street, this time in Marseille.
This interview was done with Moaouia in April 2021
I’m from Sudan, but i feel i come from everywhere at the same time.
I decided to emigrate at the age of 31. The strange thing about age is that i don’t know my exact age. I had to think of a number when i arrived is Europe. In Sudan, we live without thinking to much about our age. Even the number 31 is just an estimate
The journey
I came from Sudan by Libya.
I spent two years in Libya in intermittent transit.
Honestly, i don’t know how to determinate the size of the ship i took. It was the first time of my life i would be on a boat, and it was even the first time i would seen the sea.
From a distance, Libya seem full of violence, war and racisme. What do you think ?
Racism and violation are everywhere, not specifically in Libya.
Thinking that the country is worse than others is based on the different experiences of each individual. For example, if you walk through an area where there’s a shootings, the same effect doesn’t occur on someone’s soul as it does on mine.
I went through Libya. Maybe things have been difficult but that hasn’t affected me, in my mind. I choose to say things went normally.
Before the french Navy came rescued us and brought us to Italian land, we spent a day off the coast of Libya.
There were around 150 migrants on the boat that took us from Libya. All Africans, maybe three Moroccans and a Tunisian, but the rest were from sub-Saharan Africa. It was as if the boat represented the entire African continent.
Do you remember your feelings and hopes the first time you saw the European continent, when you were on the lifeboat ?
I was happy because i had kept my soul and i hadn’t die. The soul is not ours it’s a loan from God that we have to preserve.
And the fact that i didn’t drown and die gave me the feeling that i had preserved that loan.
In fact, i didn’t have the capacity to have any dream, not even any hope. Perhaps the feeling of frustration, of collapse and extreme exhaustion were so strong that it blocked any ability to hope and formulate dreams.
How did you decide to come to Marseille ?
I didn’t exactly choose the city. Sometime your push by fate without any capacity to determine our own will.
You get on the train, the police stop you and you’re in Marseille… I got off the train like that in Marseille the first time and i was happy to find a lots of Arab in the city.
Did you have a specific destination in mind?
Honnestly no, I didn’t have a city as a goal in itself.
Why did you decide to leave Italy?
All the Sudanese i met in Italy talked about their desire to leave the country. When i asked anyone about their desire to leave, i would ask them where they were going. Whatshisname was saying he wanted to leave without goal, he was leaving for him not for a precise places.
That’s how i realised that things weren’t going well in Italy and that i had to leave. Sometimes i’d heard about Britain was better, but i didn’t know which destination to choose. I didn’t have any particular objective, except to leave, which i understood.
I spent two weeks in Italy in a migrants camp in Vintimiglia. The activist and group who set up the camp help migrants to cross the border between Italy and France. Those were the happiest days of my immigration experience, perhaps the happiest day of my life.
I had very pleasant feelings, the humanity was very strong. For the first time, i saw people welcoming us and helps us in these moment where we feel lost. I’ve never forgotten how grateful i am to them. I didn’t know them and so far i don’t where they come from, but their fight at the borders to help people to live in dignity and cross those borders is very respectable.
After those two weeks, i took the train to Marseille. I knew nothing about the city. I had never heard of a city called Marseille before i found myself stopped by the police at the Station Saint Charles.
Now i’ve been living in France since for five years and it feels like the time is passing by like a “speed” dream.
It was dense and beautiful, i would never experienced a more intense phase as before.
I have travelled a lot of various routes in Marseille, and i think the region is very generous.
What i like most about Marseille is the diversity, it give you hope that the world can be a better place than it is. You find Arabs, Africans and all the communities of the world, all together in one city.
The language stop being a barrier between people. You feel like home in this city.
You can meet people in the street in Marseille, they’ll take you home and offer you a cup of tea, just like we do now. It’s as if we were in the countryside or with our families.
I have done a lot of work since i arrived in Marseille, from transport worker to wall painter, always through friends. When they know i need work, they offer it to me
It’s better to have someone who give a chance to work rather than someone who give you money, it can save dignity and face.
Failure begins when a bad feeling deepens. Feeling homeless makes you homeless, or feeling sick makes you sick… When these feelings get worse, your condition deteriorate and leads you to the worst.
Sometimes lying to yourself is a good thing : a man die on his feet.
How did the refugee status procedure work?
It went well, i think i was lucky.
When the police stopped me in Saint Charles station, i said to them : “I’m a asylum seeker”. They started their procedure for me, took me to the hospital and gave me some help – a little money- to allow me to live
Useful and important places in Marseille
Thankfully in Marseille, you feel there are a lots of places to get help.
The most important place in my personal experience is “Le Manba”(n.d.a. the source, in arab -Collective to support migrants people) : you could think of this place as the ‘mother and father’ of my experience in the city.
If a migrant goes to the Manba, most of his problems will be solved or at least he will find someone who will take his hand and try to find solutions.
In the street, someone talk to me about “Manba” and i found helpful and understanding peoples to help.
There is also the African center not far from Noailles neighbourhood. They give French courses, help with appointments and support migrants in their various procedures.
When you meet peoples, at the Cimade for example, especially elderly people who come to help, it gives you hope that you’ll be able to cope better with life’s difficulties.
Even if sometimes, you can feel frustrated or lost… when people around us do something and look for solutions for the vulnerable, it gives a boost to life.
Taking French courses and "getting in contact" with people
To learn french, i went to the courses given at La Friche de la Belle de Mai and at Manba, i also took French courses at La Cimade.
My advice for the new comers in Marseille is to go to all these places and all the associations they can find, because you can meet people who can guide you and explain things which can help you overcome the difficulties of the process. You also need to dare to talk to people through friends or friends of friends. Finally, all contact can help
Finding freedom
Today, if i’m taken back to Sudan, i will start the migration journey here again without a doubt. I feel at home here.
I feel here that my freedom to choose is stronger than elsewhere. I feel that in Marseille, there is a beginning where we can develop a project of equality between human beings and unity of destiny, despite our differences.